Beauty is in the name of the beholder

For several months now, Ellis has been obsessed with being beautiful. When I say obsessed, I really mean it. Focused, preoccupied, enthralled - those words don't even begin to express the grip this has on her life.

It started with her hair. The topsy tails, which successfully and fashionably held her growing bangs out of her eyes, slipped into the "not so beautiful" category. This left us with headbands - which do not stay on her tiny head - or "pretties". Barrettes. If I can get the clamp-of-death style ones, they will hold for awhile. Then, throughout the day, they somehow get lost. This usually brings us back to a topsy tail for a few days until we can give it another try. It's also not Rapunzel hair so her hair, in general, defaults to "not so beautiful".

Next came her clothing. Pants, shorts, jeans, and capris all joined the topsy tail in the "not so beautiful" club. It's dresses or skirts - the twirlier the better. She even changes the way she walks when she wears a dress. I decided long ago that clothes weren't going to be a battle unless they were inappropriate so I really let them pick out what they want to wear for the most part. When it's snowing, icing, freezing wind - I require pants. Needless to say, Ellis has felt "not so beautiful" for the past few weeks because of winter weather conditions.

Today, a new one: "The name Ellis is not such a beautiful name." I asked her what she wanted to be called and she said, "Annika". As in Princess Annika from the Princess Barbie cartoons? Regardless of how much I tried to convince her today that Ellis was a beautiful name and that she would probably never meet another Ellis - at least not have one in her class - she is holding strong to that "not so beautiful" stance.

Maybe I shouldn't be taking this so seriously. Perhaps it's just a developmental thing for girls. However, the value she seems to be placing on appearance is a little troubling. In 1 Peter 3 it says,

"Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful."

While I know Peter was speaking to women, specifically wives, I can't help but feel God's nudging to start really teaching on this during our devotional/prayer time. I know if I don't enlist the help of the Holy Spirit now this monster is going to grow out of control and take her heart captive.

Everything is Meaningless...

Television has always been a big part of my family. Growing up, the TV was pretty much always on. I remember watching Sesame Street, Electric Company, Zoom, and an assortment of cartoons and School House Rock's. This was back in the era when Saturday morning cartoons were "safe" to let your kids watch.

Although I can't give specific examples, I don't feel like it's safe to put on cartoons and let the kids just watch, unsupervised. I think they can get introduced to inappropriate themes, attitudes, and vocabulary way too early.

Before Logan was born I started out with the philosophy of "My kids won't watch anything on TV unless I am sitting right with them." This changed around the time I got pregnant with Ellis and was so sick I would just put in movies for Logan and go writhe in agony on the couch. Eventually, it turned into "only PBS TV" which I still deem as 'safe'. I distinctly remember kind of bragging to a friend that my kids didn't even know who the Backyardigans were and she said, "They will... you just wait."

Then we got cable and Noggin. I remember the first time my kids saw commercials for toys. Their faces lit up like they saw the Messiah. They had no idea such things existed! Enter: materialism. Materialism is a nasty bug that's hard to shake and easy to catch again. For some, it's a plague. For Logan, it's easily justified and soundly debated. Case in point: another infomercial. The conversation went something like this:

Lo: Mom, I have something to tell you. Um, on TV it has these headphones and when you use them you won't disturb others (she said those last 3 words very slowly and emphatically using her hands to mimic punctuation). (pause). And they are less than $50. (pause). Do you think that sounds pretty great?

Me: Sure. And what are you thinking about those headphones?

Lo: Good. I think pretty great. It said, 'Not $200, not $100, not $50 so they put X's on it. (pause). Amazing, right mom? Isn't it amazing?

Me: Well, maybe. How much under $50?

Lo: I'm not sure. (then skipped off losing interest in the whole conversation)

Editors note: Turns out they are just $19.99 plus S&H. They create a perfectly antisocial home environment where the dad can just watch ESPN in peace and block out those pesky family noises. https://www.myzoneheadphones.com/?gclid=COTE0b_S4a0CFQ41hwodLjihTQ

I'm thinking it might be time to start reading to the girls from Ecclesiastes. I could probably use a refresher about how meaningless everything really is myself :)

Nothing To Hide

Right after Logan was born I felt the tug of motherhood pulling me away from teaching and home with my baby. There was one major obstacle in my way though: income. I provided a significant portion of our family's income and I knew it would be impossible to replace that kind of income without having to work long hours to do it.

Enter: Network Marketing. I scoffed, poo-pooed, and ridiculed my friend Shawnna for "selling lipstick" until she introduced me to people who were making 5-digit monthly incomes selling that lipstick.

I tried the products, shared them with friends and - long story short - replaced my teaching income within a year and had an absolute BLAST doing it. So, when I got pregnant with Ellis I was able to resign my postion at Kennewick High and stay home full time with my kids while I "sold lipstick" on the side. I got to partner with my friend Shawnna and really use my giftedness in building a strong team, teaching, and training. Selling is not my giftedness. Thus, the absolute necessity of having a superior product that sells itself.

Shortly after resigning from teaching, the wheels fell off of my life and my business didn't get the attention it needed. As a result, fizzled. I had to go back to working full time. However, even though I wasn't working the business, I had built up such a team that I was still collecting residual income checks for a couple of years.

Network marketing works if you work. The key is finding a company with consumable goods that you can really get behind. After a couple of years, the company I worked for changed the formulations in its products and I could no longer get behind them. I knew how much money could be made but had a really hard time opening my mouth about the products any more.

Enter: Apriori Beauty - thanks again to Shawnna. Shawnna contacted one of the leaders in the first company we worked for and she sent me a sample of this new skin care. It came in a really cool capsule and sat in my closet looking really cool for about 6 months. I had the best intentions to use it but kept finding excuses not to. Finally, Kristin called me and told me about an outrageous sale Apriori was having in August to honor their founder and CEO's birthday. I knew if I was going to get in on this I needed to act right away to take advantage of the incredible sale so I hurried up and tried the teaser in the capsule and absolutely fell in love.

I placed my first order and signed up as a consultant, not planning to sell it, but wanted to be locked in just in case. So I used the product through the fall and as clients from the old company would contact me for orders I would just mention that I had a new line that I thought they would like better. So I gave them one of the capsules I got when I signed up and of course they both loved it.

I still wasn't sure about selling it even though I was completely behind the product and the business model is solid. I had this fear of people saying, "Oh, NOW what are you selling?" "Oh now THIS is the best?" So I just laid low and let people know about it when they asked.

Enter: Nothing To Hide. In November , Apriori launched a new product line of make up. Just foundation, powder and bronzer. That's it. I drug my feet about trying it because I was still in love with my old foundation. However, the previous company had changed that formulation too and I was having a hard time even getting my favorite foundation. So, as my bottle of foundation was dwindling and I was scraping the sides, I knew it was time to pull the trigger and try the Apriori foundation. Oh. My.

Enter: my new source of income. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am finding myself especially financially burdened as of late. This is one of the largest sources of stress for me. I really value financial security. Not even abundance... just safety. I'm afraid if I don't figure something out quick I am going to have pull my kids out of BLS - the thought of which makes my stomach sick.

So here I am. I am selling skin care again. There. I said it. I guess that makes it official. Here is what I will NOT be doing:

• I am not going to do presentations or home parties (although a girls night with a facial would be fun).


• I am not going to recruit people to do this with me or "under" me.


• I will not be the Apriori Stalker and will not be making phone calls begging for referrals.

I just want to allow people to purchase the really cool $5 teaser capsule and use it at their leisure. If they love it, great. If they don't (which I know will be few and far between) no sweat. It is what it is, it costs what it costs. Use it or don't. I'm not trying to make "gangsta money", just a couple hundred dollars a month to create a bit of a cushion in my budget.

SO! Since it's official, the offer is officially on the table. I have $5 teaser capsules with an extra sample of the amazing scrub available. I also have a website (got it free when I signed up) that you can access: http://www.useloveshare.com/IC/DeJong/. It's free to sign up as a client and you get access to the monthly specials.

That's all for now. I need to recover from this huge leap. I may have pulled a groin.

And now a word from our sponsor...

The month between Thanksgiving and Christmas are admittedly pretty indulgent months.

Lots of sugar, lots of TV watching, and lots of movies. Every year when I pack up the Christmas decorations, I also pack up the Christmas movies - or "specials" as I have referred to them for 40 years. We call it our Christmas detox. The TV goes off and we get back to a balanced diet. This is painful for everyone involved but it usually only takes a few days to for our bodies to forget the sinful pleasures of the holiday season.

Except this year.

The day after Christmas I got everything put away - including the specials - and all seemed to be going according to plan. Then Ellis got sick - for 5 days. Then Logan got sick - for 5 days. Sick kids in our house = TV watching, and lots of it, so the television has been on for two weeks solid.

Because of this, Logan has been introduced to infomercials. She said, "Hey mom... you could get space bags and the Alumawallet and roll over them with your car and your stuff wouldn't get damaged." She has added "Press Dough", "Slushy Magic" and "Wugglepets", which she thought really did "come to life before your very eyes." She is utterly fascinated by every product and is mesmerized by the brilliant marketing techniques. Needless to say, Logan will never be introduced to credit cards. I think there's just wisdom in that. Her flesh is too weak.

This sick has been the most wicked the DeJong girls have ever experienced. I have been in heavy combat with fevers around the clock for nearly two weeks between the two girls. Their poor kidneys and livers are getting a workout from all of the fever reducing meds. Praise God for a couple of things:

1. They are both excellent patients. They take their meds pretty willingly and humor my obsessive-compulsive temperature taking. The only problem was last night at 11:00p when I woke Logan up to take meds and she refused stating that "it's embarrassing". Clearly a fever induced stupor.

2. I have friends who will make runs to the store for me. I ran out of ibuprofen (gasp) and only had the chewable kind. When that triggered the gag reflex in Logan I had my friend Melissa make a liquid ibuprofen run for me. I have friends who talk me off the ledge when I am losing my mind. My friend Shawnna brought me back to sanity when Logan's fever was skyrocketing and reminded me to put her in the tub. She hated every second of it but it worked.

3. So far, I haven't had to clean up any vomit. The Lord has whispered in my ear at just the right times to be near my kids and my OCD with the barf buckets has paid off. With each girl, there was a period of about 2 hours that this horrible virus took over and caused the chills so bad they each vomited. This was not your ordinary vomit. It was so powerful and the duration so long it reminded me of the scene in "Stand By Me" when everyone was throwing up at the pie eating contest and it looked like a barf hose was turned on. Had I not been there with a bucket, it would have been catastrophic. Thank you Jesus.

4. I have learned to trust my ther-MOM-eter. None of our 4 thermometers seem to give me an accurate reading. What has been the most helpful is the ol' cheek-on-the-forehead trick. While it doesn't give me a number to obsess over, it does tell me how many other fever reducing techniques I need to employ.

Although we have now added PINK EYE to the mix of things to medicate, I think we are on the other side of this monster now. I just keep reminding myself that I have kids who are sick with an illness that will pass. There are millions of parents who would pay a lot of money to only have to deal with a fever and a little barf. Seasonal illnesses are nothing compared to the nightmare many parents are living with terminally ill children. God faithfully reminds me to rely on Him by pushing me into positions where I can't handle it. He gives me more than I can bear so I have to give him the load. Too bad that lesson has to hurt so bad each time :)

"And the TRUTH shall set you free."

It's funny... as your kids grow up you really see their character revealed in the little, daily things. Ellis, for instance, has figured out that if she doesn't acknowledge what I have just asked her to do then she has at least 4 or 5 more "asks" before mom's voice changes and she really has to get it in gear. In the Bible, this is called disobedience. Delayed obedience is disobedience. However, I am promoting it and, in the name of character building, this will stop. On the other hand, God made Ellis highly relational, highly compassionate, and hilarious.

And then, there's Logan. Not much of a sense of humor, Logan tends to be easily offended. She does not like extra attention given to her, internalizes every mistake she makes, and needs constant affirmation and feedback to make sure she is doing something right. She 'seeks justice (more on this in a later blog), loves mercy and walks humbly with our God'. No, really... she does. Even at 6. Logan is a truth teller and sees nothing more dishonorable than lies. This is a core family value and is an offense punishable by 2 spanks. Logan has adopted this as her own, personal value as well.

EXHIBIT A: the Santa tree topper.
In her Kindergarten class the teacher asked the children to tell the kids sitting around them what kind of a tree topper they had on their tree. Logan told 2 of her classmates that there was a Santa on top of her tree.
When she got home and realized there was not only no Santa but NO TREE TOPPER AT ALL it sent her into a panic. Fighting back the tears and with a greatly accelerated heart rate she tried to explain that she told the kids at school that we had a Santa on our tree. When I didn't seem as concerned as she was, it only exacerbated the crisis. Being the astute and keenly observant mom that I am, I noticed the intensity in her voice and recognized this as the potential for a major melt down. I calmly said, "There was no room for a tree topper this year."

Logan wailed, "THEN I'LL BE A LIAR! I TOLD THEM WE HAD A SANTA! WE HAVE TO PUT UP A SANTA OR I WILL BE A LIAR!!!"


EXHIBIT B: the crack in the telephone.
Christmas night 2011. After hearing their 1-year-old cousin, Walker, play the drums all day with wooden spoons and pots and pans, Logan wanted to practice her own music. I told her she could do it in my bedroom so it wouldn't be so loud in our echoey living room. Fast forward to dinner. Logan raced through her dinner and quietly left the table (actually, she and E had to sit at the counter because there was no room at my tiny table.)

When she didn't return, I went looking for her and found her sitting on her bed, crying. When I asked her what was wrong she could hardly get the words out because of her "my lungs are too full so I can't get a breath" breathing. She took me into my bedroom and showed me her Aunt Lily's cell phone. It had a significant crack on the face where Logan confessed she had hit it with the wooden spoon on accident.


She was sobbing uncontrollably but I told her she needed to confess it to Lily and ask for forgiveness. She was willing but was confident she would not be able to get the words out. I told her I would help her and went to fetch Lily from the middle of her Christmas dinner.

We showed Lily the phone and before Logan even said anything Lily revealed that the crack had been there prior to their trip to our house and that Walker had done it. The relief on Logan's face (and mine) was priceless but she still needed to compose herself before she returned to the family. She said she felt so bad all during dinner because of the phone and could hardly finish her dinner. Once she calmed down she slunk into the playroom, turning her head so those at the dinner table couldn't see her face. When I checked on her a few minutes later she was still crying and said she was embarrassed and didn't want everyone to think she was a "bad kid".

I assured her that not only did no one think that of her but that we were all proud of her for telling the truth and for the remorse she felt for a mistake she didn't even make! That made her feel better, all was restored and she has let that one go.








EXHIBIT C: the dictionary smuggler.


For Logan's birthday, her Nana and Grampa got her a Children's Illustrated Dictionary. Editor's note: Logan has been sitting with the dictionary this morning and started taking notes on it. She has made it through the letter E before 9:15a.

Last night, she asked if we could read from the dictionary before bed time. We had done a movie night and it was late so I told her there would be no story, just straight to bed. Editor's note: please do not call CPS or Jan Schuldheisz's report this. It is not common practice and I will see to it that the ENTIRE dictionary gets read.

I didn't think anything else of it until about 20 minutes after I left the girls room for the night. Logan called me back in, "Mom? I need you to come here." When I entered the room, she said, "I need to tell you something" and lifted up her pillow revealing...... the dictionary. She confessed (calmly this time) "I hid it under my pillow because I was going to read it after you left - and I did read a little of it - and I just needed to tell you."

My little truth teller could have just put the book back on her nightstand and I would have never known. The guilt, however, was eating her alive and she had to confess it in order to go to sleep. Of course, I remained calm, showed no disappointment, thanked her for her confession and told her she was completely forgiven and this would be wiped clean. She was relieved and went right to sleep after that.

A few of observations about this incident:

1. Ellis watched the whole thing and saw how to handle it when you sin. Hoping this modeling wears off on #2.

2. Rarely do I find Logan deliberately trying to deceive me. I can probably count the times on one hand. The fact that the Holy Spirit is working in her enough to cause that kind of an immediate purge of guilt thrills me.

3. Lord willing, she will only ever smuggle just books into her room. I hope she never calls me in, lifts the pillow and reveals some kind of controlled substance or paraphernalia. I may not remain so calm.

Now if only I could bottle this character trait and spray it all over my students...