And then, there's Logan. Not much of a sense of humor, Logan tends to be easily offended. She does not like extra attention given to her, internalizes every mistake she makes, and needs constant affirmation and feedback to make sure she is doing something right. She 'seeks justice (more on this in a later blog), loves mercy and walks humbly with our God'. No, really... she does. Even at 6. Logan is a truth teller and sees nothing more dishonorable than lies. This is a core family value and is an offense punishable by 2 spanks. Logan has adopted this as her own, personal value as well.
EXHIBIT A: the Santa tree topper.
In her Kindergarten class the teacher asked the children to tell the kids sitting around them what kind of a tree topper they had on their tree. Logan told 2 of her classmates that there was a Santa on top of her tree.
When she got home and realized there was not only no Santa but NO TREE TOPPER AT ALL it sent her into a panic. Fighting back the tears and with a greatly accelerated heart rate she tried to explain that she told the kids at school that we had a Santa on our tree. When I didn't seem as concerned as she was, it only exacerbated the crisis. Being the astute and keenly observant mom that I am, I noticed the intensity in her voice and recognized this as the potential for a major melt down. I calmly said, "There was no room for a tree topper this year."
Logan wailed, "THEN I'LL BE A LIAR! I TOLD THEM WE HAD A SANTA! WE HAVE TO PUT UP A SANTA OR I WILL BE A LIAR!!!"
EXHIBIT B: the crack in the telephone.
Christmas night 2011. After hearing their 1-year-old cousin, Walker, play the drums all day with wooden spoons and pots and pans, Logan wanted to practice her own music. I told her she could do it in my bedroom so it wouldn't be so loud in our echoey living room. Fast forward to dinner. Logan raced through her dinner and quietly left the table (actually, she and E had to sit at the counter because there was no room at my tiny table.)
When she didn't return, I went looking for her and found her sitting on her bed, crying. When I asked her what was wrong she could hardly get the words out because of her "my lungs are too full so I can't get a breath" breathing. She took me into my bedroom and showed me her Aunt Lily's cell phone. It had a significant crack on the face where Logan confessed she had hit it with the wooden spoon on accident.
She was sobbing uncontrollably but I told her she needed to confess it to Lily and ask for forgiveness. She was willing but was confident she would not be able to get the words out. I told her I would help her and went to fetch Lily from the middle of her Christmas dinner.
We showed Lily the phone and before Logan even said anything Lily revealed that the crack had been there prior to their trip to our house and that Walker had done it. The relief on Logan's face (and mine) was priceless but she still needed to compose herself before she returned to the family. She said she felt so bad all during dinner because of the phone and could hardly finish her dinner. Once she calmed down she slunk into the playroom, turning her head so those at the dinner table couldn't see her face. When I checked on her a few minutes later she was still crying and said she was embarrassed and didn't want everyone to think she was a "bad kid".
I assured her that not only did no one think that of her but that we were all proud of her for telling the truth and for the remorse she felt for a mistake she didn't even make! That made her feel better, all was restored and she has let that one go.
EXHIBIT C: the dictionary smuggler.
For Logan's birthday, her Nana and Grampa got her a Children's Illustrated Dictionary. Editor's note: Logan has been sitting with the dictionary this morning and started taking notes on it. She has made it through the letter E before 9:15a.
Last night, she asked if we could read from the dictionary before bed time. We had done a movie night and it was late so I told her there would be no story, just straight to bed. Editor's note: please do not call CPS or Jan Schuldheisz's report this. It is not common practice and I will see to it that the ENTIRE dictionary gets read.
I didn't think anything else of it until about 20 minutes after I left the girls room for the night. Logan called me back in, "Mom? I need you to come here." When I entered the room, she said, "I need to tell you something" and lifted up her pillow revealing...... the dictionary. She confessed (calmly this time) "I hid it under my pillow because I was going to read it after you left - and I did read a little of it - and I just needed to tell you."
My little truth teller could have just put the book back on her nightstand and I would have never known. The guilt, however, was eating her alive and she had to confess it in order to go to sleep. Of course, I remained calm, showed no disappointment, thanked her for her confession and told her she was completely forgiven and this would be wiped clean. She was relieved and went right to sleep after that.
A few of observations about this incident:
1. Ellis watched the whole thing and saw how to handle it when you sin. Hoping this modeling wears off on #2.
2. Rarely do I find Logan deliberately trying to deceive me. I can probably count the times on one hand. The fact that the Holy Spirit is working in her enough to cause that kind of an immediate purge of guilt thrills me.
3. Lord willing, she will only ever smuggle just books into her room. I hope she never calls me in, lifts the pillow and reveals some kind of controlled substance or paraphernalia. I may not remain so calm.
Now if only I could bottle this character trait and spray it all over my students...
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